You are the smell before rain; you are the blood in my veins...

Last weekend, we had a Black-and-White Party with the Tenacious Ten [minus Samantha, plus Tessa, a significant other]. I was spending the night at Matthew's house [where the party was held], and so was Joey. I couched myself in Matthew's bed at about eleven, read 76 pages of the curious incident of the dog in the night-time, and promptly fell asleep.

Joey stayed up late playing video games with the boys, and he slipped into bed with me at about 4:30 or so. He ran his fingers through my hair [a sensation I would often prefer to sex--but don't tell anyone, I don't want to lose my image as a complete sex-fiend] a few times, snuggled up to me, and said, quietly, "You looked beautiful tonight."

I was struck by that moment, by that feeling. My stomach was turning over and over, and I felt like everything new again, like I was about to have my first kiss. It was simply breath-taking.

It is moments like that when I realize again and again how worth it everything is--that no matter who gives me shit about it, no matter what Erskine or my parents think, no matter how many small disagreements or poems that have to go out the car window or explanations about friends who are boys--no matter what, that is where I am meant to be.

Je t'aime...