Go Be Young

I went to a bar for the first time in my life. Erik Lollar invited me to go see him play at an Open Mic Night, and I complied. It had been one hell of a long day, and I was certainly eager to get off campus and do something out of the ordinary. Erik has fallen back into my life, as he tends to do, and I wanted to see him for the first time in about a year. I wanted to go.

I told Jim and Joey about the excursion, and they wanted to go, so we all set out to Maclain's. We missed it the first time, and when we got back to it, Erik had already played his set. He was also quite drunk, which is honestly neither here nor there. He greeted me with a running and flying hug, which also is not that unusual. I decided it was going to be a good night.

He wanted to go meet his friend Gagnog [what a name, I know] at another bar, one he has a membership to on account of his feat of drinking five Guiness in a row. So we went in, he bought a pitcher of beer and shared it in small amounts [which I allowed] with my brother and boyfriend. I had maybe three sips of it, and even I had to admit it wasn't as ass-nasty as the other beer I've had before.

Joey and Erik played pool [in a really hilarious fashion] and Gagnog came up and said "Where did all the striped go" and Erik said "the sober guy hit them in the pocket."

Joey won.

Erik and I kidded around and hugged more and caught up and he messed with me as usual, and I messed with him right back. Eventually, we left to take him to his place, and we met his housemates [which includes Michael Shiles's twin brother Doug] and we decided to roll out when they started looking for rolling papers.

As we were leaving, Erik said to us: "You go be good, and we'll fuck things up. You go be good, and someday you will rule the world. And we will beg for mercy."

And he leaned over and whispered in my ear. "And you will consider it."

I thought: you know me so well, Erik Lollar.

I wouldn't consider it. I would do it in a heartbeat.

With things just coming out of nowhere

Today--Roberto said maybe the most wonderful thing that has ever been said about my writing.

He said that he saw a preview of the Review, and he read my poem An Ode to the South, Which I Detest. He told me that he thought it was one of the best modern poems he had ever read [this from someone taking Modern Poetry this semester(!)] and that he "LOVED" it.

He said when he read it the first time, as a reviewer for the Review [when he didn't know the poet], he thought "This person will be known for this someday."

I was just bowled over. I was like. Wow. Wow. Wow.

It was a feeling of absolute GOOD. We all need more GOOD, I think.

With things just getting good

I am back at the EC. And it feels great.

I gave a talk to Dr. Thomas's seminar classes today, which was fun. Some of them were really responsive, which I honestly had not expected. Dr. Thomas sent me an email thanking me for the talk, an email in which he actual used the phrase "Hot-Lanta." Imagine that in a Welsh accent...just do it. It's fun.

After the talk, I got to see---JOEY HARMON! Who is now a freshman at Erskine! Which is the best thing ever!

I am moved in, but my stuff is not really arranged yet. But most of my posters are up.

This afternoon, I caught up with some friends. I went to get gas with Matt, and it was like we had never left each other. We haven't talked all three and a half months of summer--and you couldn't tell.

Everything is the same.

After hanging out with Matt, Roberto [The O] came over, and we talked about A LOT of different things. I really like Roberto, and neither of us can figure out why we never hung out last year. We ate dinner and went to the DG, which was necessary.

Joey got back from his orientation activities, and he came over to my dorm, and we laid down on my bed for hours, just being with each other. It was a great beautiful wonderful fulfilling feeling. Settling into his arms gives me a feeling of calm like nothing else.

At times like this, it occurs to me: Everything is ok. I am ok. No matter what people think about me, no matter how they perceive [or want to perceive] me, I am ok. I am doing well. And no one can change that. And no one can take that away from me, because it is wrapped up inside of me.

After a few hours of snuggle time, we went to Lou's with Jim, The O, Jim's friend Jordan and her friend Tori. I had fun meeting the girls, and Roberto was in high improprietous form [which made us a dynamicduo] and we worked crossword puzzles and drank coffee and had raucous fun, which is what college is about.

So here were are--the end of the first night of my junior year of college. I think I can say, without a doubt, that this will be a wonderful wonderful year.

With things just getting good.